Things to keep in mind
1. Not everyone will be able to receive the whole fist. This may be due to anatomy and/or anxiety. For the later, more foreplay may be required. Also, switching positions may help as it will let the other person see that it is possible!
2. Get ready to purchase and use all the lube in the store. If you think you’ve put enough lube on both your hand and your partner’s ass, apply more. A silicone lube like Swiss Navy, is much slicker than water-based lube and is thick enough for fisting. Those from the “old school” however may insist on Crisco (my preference or Slam Dunk).
3. You’re going to want to lay down some towels because it’s about to get wet. With all the lube you’ll be using, the odds that it’ll leak all over your sheets are very good indeed. Better safe and dry than wet and sorry.
4. Real talk: Trim your nails. If you’re the fister, make sure your nails are short, rounded, and filed, and your hands are recently washed clean and free of cuts, abrasions, and rough edges.
5. Do not use fisting gels with numbing agents! (I mean really! The whole pupose for taking a fist is for the sensations and numbing gels will rob you of that!) The fistee should always be able to feel everything so they can stop play if something becomes uncomfortable.
6. Communicate every step of the way, especially if you’re new. If you’re being fisted and something feels great, tell your partner, and the same goes for anything that hurts or is uncomfortable. Having a safe word since fisting can be so intense is a good idea, so you have the lines of communication as open as, well, your asshole is when it has a fist inside it.
7. Make sure your partner is as aroused as possible beforehand. This is definitely not a sex act where you want to rush foreplay, so take your time, and use smaller toys or even just a few fingers to get them wet and aroused or my fav – rim his asshole. Basically, the more aroused he is, the bigger, wider, and sloppier he’ll become, which will make it a lot easier to get your whole fist inside him when you get to that point.
8. Add one finger at a time like layers of a cake. Then move up one finger at the time until he can comfortably accommodate four of your fingers. Then, you can start to move your thumb into position to create a “beak” shape with your fingers and your thumb (basically pulling your pointer and baby finger together underneath your middle finger.) This allows your hand to be tapered, which is easier for slowly inserting into your partner. At that point, it’s just about getting past your knuckles because then your full fist will form pretty naturally once you’re inside.
9. Use your knuckles like they’re a part of the sex toy that is your hand. It can often be tough to get past the knuckles when you’re inserting them, but once you do, you can use them to rock back and forth and put pressure on the prostrate. You can also play at the edge of the ass opening, bringing the knuckles in and out.
10. How many things can you do while fisting? So many things. Now that you’re inside your partner, you can experiment by rotating your wrist gently, making small movements with your fingers, and rocking your knuckles up and down as mentioned before, and feel free to keep reapplying that lube when he needs it. For the experienced fistee, other things that can be tried are taking both the top’s hands, trying for depth (did you say elbow?), piston fisting or even punching (oh yea! – love to finish off that way when I bottom!)
11. The person who’s just been fisted might end up feeling like their ass just ran a marathon. After you’ve been fisted, it’s possible your ass will get incredibly sensitive and you might even be a little sore for a day or two afterward. Using lots of lube, going slowly during sex, and drinking lots of water after always helps to alleviate the discomfort, but it can still happen. You also might see some blood depending on how vigorous the sex was, or if the person was partying, but it should stop. Fisting injuries are pretty rare (but do exercise extreme caution as a torn colon is a very serious injury), but if you continue to bleed even if it’s just a regular drip, go to the ER as soon as possible.
12. Whatever you do, go slow as hell when you’re coming out of your partner. People who haven’t fisted before tend to want to yank their fist out of their partner’s body right after they’ve orgasmed, but it’s super startling and can be very painful for the person you’ve just fisted. Just remaining still and then massaging the outside of his asshole with your other hand to relax the muscles while you slowly and carefully work the other hand out.